Inexperienced writers often suck the very life out of their prose by taking energetic verbs and turning them into dull, lifeless nouns. Consider the following:
Example: Today’s stock price elicited a disappointed reaction among the shareholders.
Revision: Today’s stock price disappointed the shareholders.
Example: It is our expectation that we will see productivity improvement when the new computer system comes online.
Revision: We expect more productivity when the new computer system comes on line.
When revising a business report, press release, employee newsletter or company-wide email, be sure to look specifically for those weak noun structures and replace them with vigorous, active verbs. Not only will you gain clarity in the process, but your writing will be leaner too.
– Robin Fritz, Adjunct Lecturer, Indiana University-Columbus
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